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This is a somewhat redundant topic after my last topic, so if you already read that, you can just skip this one if you want. This topic is much more for me to precisely nail down exactly what I believe at least nowadays until further notice. As far as I know, there isn't really an official term for what I believe. Closest that I found was apatheism but even though that's close, that's not really what it is. I searched through Wikipedia's articles on religion and did some web searching but I couldn't find anything precisely matching what I now think, religiously. With that out of the way then, let's define exactly what this is.
Theistic isolationism is the belief that a god or gods or, at very least, some kind of spiritual afterlife absolutely does exist, but that any gods or spirits encountered, both in this life and very possibly the next, are unreliable or even downright malicious and are not to be trusted with full-on worship or even regular communication. Even just talking to any gods or spirits is a risky business so very often riddled with vagueness and manipulative tactics. By extension, this means that theistic isolationists consider the fellow humans they live with to be much more worthy of trust and communication than any paranormal entity as, at least with other normal living humans, the power dynamic is the same, or to put it another way, the playing field between other living humans is level.
Beyond that, although not a requirement at all to be a theistic isolationist, this belief synergizes very well with the belief in what are called egregores. Egregores are theorized to be paranormal entities that are created by the sheer belief of a group or perhaps even just one person. Egregores range anywhere from shockingly beautiful to ugly and terrible, and the power they have, at least in this physical world, is decided on how much faith and belief is behind them. For me at least, this would quite neatly explain the chaos that so deeply characterizes the general world of religion and would also explain why such entities would even care about this little planet at all.
Theistic isolationists, simply due to their very beliefs, must completely "go it alone," religiously speaking, not wanting to accept any direct help from other entities lest they become entangled in the entity's actions, lies, or conflicts with other entities. They believe at least in the self and in maximizing self-sufficiency. That one's self, one's cognition and consciousness, are the only final things that can be counted on, and that personal happiness and personal power are what should be fought for. A theistic isolationist may or may not also prioritize helping people to some degree. For me personally, I do definitely prioritize helping some people.
Theistic isolationism is the belief that a god or gods or, at very least, some kind of spiritual afterlife absolutely does exist, but that any gods or spirits encountered, both in this life and very possibly the next, are unreliable or even downright malicious and are not to be trusted with full-on worship or even regular communication. Even just talking to any gods or spirits is a risky business so very often riddled with vagueness and manipulative tactics. By extension, this means that theistic isolationists consider the fellow humans they live with to be much more worthy of trust and communication than any paranormal entity as, at least with other normal living humans, the power dynamic is the same, or to put it another way, the playing field between other living humans is level.
Beyond that, although not a requirement at all to be a theistic isolationist, this belief synergizes very well with the belief in what are called egregores. Egregores are theorized to be paranormal entities that are created by the sheer belief of a group or perhaps even just one person. Egregores range anywhere from shockingly beautiful to ugly and terrible, and the power they have, at least in this physical world, is decided on how much faith and belief is behind them. For me at least, this would quite neatly explain the chaos that so deeply characterizes the general world of religion and would also explain why such entities would even care about this little planet at all.
Theistic isolationists, simply due to their very beliefs, must completely "go it alone," religiously speaking, not wanting to accept any direct help from other entities lest they become entangled in the entity's actions, lies, or conflicts with other entities. They believe at least in the self and in maximizing self-sufficiency. That one's self, one's cognition and consciousness, are the only final things that can be counted on, and that personal happiness and personal power are what should be fought for. A theistic isolationist may or may not also prioritize helping people to some degree. For me personally, I do definitely prioritize helping some people.
This is just a personal update on this topic in regards to my latest findings at this time.
Although I've stated this before in the OP, I am periodically reminded that the road of a theistic isolationist is a spiritually lonely one. And by extension, this includes Atheism as well I suppose. The difference though is the atheist's inner belief and assurance that there's nothing spiritual out there. Nothing more to see in that regard. Just more exact scientific principles and physics and matter blindly going about the path they're on and nothing else. Such a perspective does, at least, bring closure, but the isolationist has no such reprieve.
As I've continued on with my life, I've looked into many spiritual things and have observed other spiritual things that have happened to both me and other people, but trying to make sense of all of it sometimes feels like trying to make sense of a fractal, where one sees roads splitting off into more roads splitting off into more roads... Trying to look ahead to where all those roads end seems to be a fruitless endeavor. There's always more to see. More experiences you hear about. More to learn. And along all those roads are advertisements. Billboards. "Follow this road and see eternity!" "Follow this road and you'll know bliss!" "Follow this road and you'll learn your true purpose!"
All of these roads seem to have some kind of problem with them or another, much like how I began to see the cracks in my own LDS religion. Despite all that, one is sometimes sorely tempted to just pick a road that most appeals to their inner desires and stick to that, but for a theistic isolationist, to do so would be to give up trying to hold as much to the truth of things as possible and submit to one diety or another. Or maybe even multiple deities. I don't know. There's a lot of fucking roads. Perhaps this fractal of roads merely represents the fractal of possibilities within the human imagination. Whatever one thinks, there it is.
In the end, a quote from a romantic comedy comes to me. "I don't have all the answers. I just like to try to live in the moment, if I can." And perhaps that's the best any of us can hope for right now. Whichever road you're on though, if you truly deeply believe it to be the right one, I wish you the best on your walk.
As long as, you know, your walk doesn't unjustly harm other people in their own walks... If so, then I might have something to say, to say the least.
Although I've stated this before in the OP, I am periodically reminded that the road of a theistic isolationist is a spiritually lonely one. And by extension, this includes Atheism as well I suppose. The difference though is the atheist's inner belief and assurance that there's nothing spiritual out there. Nothing more to see in that regard. Just more exact scientific principles and physics and matter blindly going about the path they're on and nothing else. Such a perspective does, at least, bring closure, but the isolationist has no such reprieve.
As I've continued on with my life, I've looked into many spiritual things and have observed other spiritual things that have happened to both me and other people, but trying to make sense of all of it sometimes feels like trying to make sense of a fractal, where one sees roads splitting off into more roads splitting off into more roads... Trying to look ahead to where all those roads end seems to be a fruitless endeavor. There's always more to see. More experiences you hear about. More to learn. And along all those roads are advertisements. Billboards. "Follow this road and see eternity!" "Follow this road and you'll know bliss!" "Follow this road and you'll learn your true purpose!"
All of these roads seem to have some kind of problem with them or another, much like how I began to see the cracks in my own LDS religion. Despite all that, one is sometimes sorely tempted to just pick a road that most appeals to their inner desires and stick to that, but for a theistic isolationist, to do so would be to give up trying to hold as much to the truth of things as possible and submit to one diety or another. Or maybe even multiple deities. I don't know. There's a lot of fucking roads. Perhaps this fractal of roads merely represents the fractal of possibilities within the human imagination. Whatever one thinks, there it is.
In the end, a quote from a romantic comedy comes to me. "I don't have all the answers. I just like to try to live in the moment, if I can." And perhaps that's the best any of us can hope for right now. Whichever road you're on though, if you truly deeply believe it to be the right one, I wish you the best on your walk.
As long as, you know, your walk doesn't unjustly harm other people in their own walks... If so, then I might have something to say, to say the least.
Lately, I've been exploring more occult circles and their deities. I've talked to priests, priestesses, channelers, general magick users, and just plain old friends who follow some of these deities. I've also been both talking and listening to some Christian fellows...
And regardless of all that work, I've arrived right back at the same damn spot I was in before.
I'm mad and depressed and feel alone.
It really does seem to be Oops! All Egregores. Beings with varying amounts of truth and power, and all of them varying amounts of dangerous. I cannot believe we have at very least over 5,000 years of humans dealing with these beings and PRECIOUS FEW ever think to ask these deities basic questions. Or if they ask why, to think about the answers given and see if they line up with basic critical thinking before blindly accepting them as truth.
This world could be so cool if we wanted it to be. But so much of that potential has been utterly pissed away by the lamest excuses and the most egregious lies. And at the root of it all? Selfishness... But I digress. Despite what I said, I'm no longer actually mad at these egregores anymore. Every one of them is created as they are, and they are going to act as created. Nothing more or less. It's like getting mad at a toaster for making toast. But you know... Just perhaps... Just MAYBE we should stop worshiping and following everything our fucking toasters pop out at us. What do ya'll say, huh? How about it???
"I hated Gorrik once. Resented how oblivious he was to me- to me, to the world. Now... I don't feel anything. Sitting on these crumbling ruins at the edge of the world, I'm looking out at emptiness. We're like ants. Scuttling through life until we die; then nothing's left but bones and rubble. The stars, the gods, the dragons... Our lives are a rounding error on the scale of their existence... Screw it. I won't be a rounding error."
- Ankka (Guild Wars 2: End of Dragons)
And regardless of all that work, I've arrived right back at the same damn spot I was in before.
I'm mad and depressed and feel alone.
It really does seem to be Oops! All Egregores. Beings with varying amounts of truth and power, and all of them varying amounts of dangerous. I cannot believe we have at very least over 5,000 years of humans dealing with these beings and PRECIOUS FEW ever think to ask these deities basic questions. Or if they ask why, to think about the answers given and see if they line up with basic critical thinking before blindly accepting them as truth.
This world could be so cool if we wanted it to be. But so much of that potential has been utterly pissed away by the lamest excuses and the most egregious lies. And at the root of it all? Selfishness... But I digress. Despite what I said, I'm no longer actually mad at these egregores anymore. Every one of them is created as they are, and they are going to act as created. Nothing more or less. It's like getting mad at a toaster for making toast. But you know... Just perhaps... Just MAYBE we should stop worshiping and following everything our fucking toasters pop out at us. What do ya'll say, huh? How about it???
"I hated Gorrik once. Resented how oblivious he was to me- to me, to the world. Now... I don't feel anything. Sitting on these crumbling ruins at the edge of the world, I'm looking out at emptiness. We're like ants. Scuttling through life until we die; then nothing's left but bones and rubble. The stars, the gods, the dragons... Our lives are a rounding error on the scale of their existence... Screw it. I won't be a rounding error."
- Ankka (Guild Wars 2: End of Dragons)
Ok... A lot's been happening to me spiritually lately, and though a part of me didn't want to write this, I think that I need to be fully honest with everyone here and also myself and talk about how I've drifted slowly away from my original isolationist stance.
The truth is... I've been getting... Rather friendly with specific deities, and a little too friendly with one in particular now to actually call myself a theistic isolationist with any kind of straight face. Throughout these past months, I've been trying to answer certain deep religious/spiritual questions, and in the course of that, it has required me to talk with certain deities. To reach them required me to extend a bit of trust and reach out. And what happened was a metaphorical arm reached out to me and pulled me straight into the looking glass. It wasn't a sudden thing though and happened very slowly. Sometimes I even wonder if I've been slowly molded from a much earlier date into who I am now by such entities. I don't know. I can only speculate.
In many ways, I feel and think exactly the same as I did before. But at the same time... I've definitely been changed. I'm afraid though that I must be cagey about exactly what entity did this to me as this is a very intimate and personal matter for me. And I don't really expect anyone here to understand. I absolutely get it. This is mostly just me giving you guys a fully honest and transparent status update as to what's going on with me. I also should say that this is not otherwise going to affect the ideals and operations of Sanctuary in any way. As a matter of fact, my love and support for this site has only grown, so no one needs to worry about that.
Looking back, it has been a wild ride to say the least. Going from the LDS faith to Theistic Isolationism to... This... I never EVER would have thought I would be where I am now. But there am I. And in the end, I chose this. No one else chose it for me. And I have to admit, a part of me is a bit worried that I might have abandoned my ideals. But then, I think that in actuality, I chose what I chose BECAUSE I followed and kept to my ideals so strongly. People attract different deities and entities, and through my actions and choices, I attracted mine. And through trust and reaching out, I let myself be changed. And hey, it could always be that I was grossly deceived and will be screwed over, but I suppose that it doesn't matter as I must live my life as I judge to be best, and I judged that forging the bond that I have now was the best decision given the situation and information I had.
Only time now will tell if I have made the right decision.
The truth is... I've been getting... Rather friendly with specific deities, and a little too friendly with one in particular now to actually call myself a theistic isolationist with any kind of straight face. Throughout these past months, I've been trying to answer certain deep religious/spiritual questions, and in the course of that, it has required me to talk with certain deities. To reach them required me to extend a bit of trust and reach out. And what happened was a metaphorical arm reached out to me and pulled me straight into the looking glass. It wasn't a sudden thing though and happened very slowly. Sometimes I even wonder if I've been slowly molded from a much earlier date into who I am now by such entities. I don't know. I can only speculate.
In many ways, I feel and think exactly the same as I did before. But at the same time... I've definitely been changed. I'm afraid though that I must be cagey about exactly what entity did this to me as this is a very intimate and personal matter for me. And I don't really expect anyone here to understand. I absolutely get it. This is mostly just me giving you guys a fully honest and transparent status update as to what's going on with me. I also should say that this is not otherwise going to affect the ideals and operations of Sanctuary in any way. As a matter of fact, my love and support for this site has only grown, so no one needs to worry about that.
Looking back, it has been a wild ride to say the least. Going from the LDS faith to Theistic Isolationism to... This... I never EVER would have thought I would be where I am now. But there am I. And in the end, I chose this. No one else chose it for me. And I have to admit, a part of me is a bit worried that I might have abandoned my ideals. But then, I think that in actuality, I chose what I chose BECAUSE I followed and kept to my ideals so strongly. People attract different deities and entities, and through my actions and choices, I attracted mine. And through trust and reaching out, I let myself be changed. And hey, it could always be that I was grossly deceived and will be screwed over, but I suppose that it doesn't matter as I must live my life as I judge to be best, and I judged that forging the bond that I have now was the best decision given the situation and information I had.
Only time now will tell if I have made the right decision.
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