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Yes, R&A is finally getting a new thread after... *checks thread list* Six years. Ok, what the fuck? Ya'll need to get a girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Whatever.
Anyway, back to our BDSM topic at hand. I have a personal theory that Dom/sub relationships that extend OUT OF play and into everyday life, no matter how soft the relationship might be, are not actually healthy at all due to the self-esteem of the sub very possibly being negatively impacted and kept low. A dom may not even intentionally do this, but such... Extended play has negative consequences for the submissive, long term. Keep in mind, this is not to say that Dom/sub play is bad, full stop, but there should definitely be a period where the play ends. And when the play ends, the dom and sub should return to a fully equal partnership with complete mutual respect.
Now, some people in Dom/sub relationships already do this, but I know there are some who do not and might argue against my theory. I would only say that while such an incredibly extended or even permanent Dom/sub relationship may feel very good for the sub, the negative effects would be more stealthy and insidious, slowly programming in a learned helplessness into the sub combined with a negative body image. It may also take a toll on the dom too if the dom doesn't want to participate in such a relationship 24/7, but does so anyway because they want to make their sub happy. And even if the dom DOES want to participate in this relationship 24/7, it may lead to feelings of unwarranted superiority and pride over time.
Anyway, back to our BDSM topic at hand. I have a personal theory that Dom/sub relationships that extend OUT OF play and into everyday life, no matter how soft the relationship might be, are not actually healthy at all due to the self-esteem of the sub very possibly being negatively impacted and kept low. A dom may not even intentionally do this, but such... Extended play has negative consequences for the submissive, long term. Keep in mind, this is not to say that Dom/sub play is bad, full stop, but there should definitely be a period where the play ends. And when the play ends, the dom and sub should return to a fully equal partnership with complete mutual respect.
Now, some people in Dom/sub relationships already do this, but I know there are some who do not and might argue against my theory. I would only say that while such an incredibly extended or even permanent Dom/sub relationship may feel very good for the sub, the negative effects would be more stealthy and insidious, slowly programming in a learned helplessness into the sub combined with a negative body image. It may also take a toll on the dom too if the dom doesn't want to participate in such a relationship 24/7, but does so anyway because they want to make their sub happy. And even if the dom DOES want to participate in this relationship 24/7, it may lead to feelings of unwarranted superiority and pride over time.
