General movie thread

[Arnox]

Raping women on screen was the correct choice after all

Don't let your dreams be dreams!

 

[Gauche]

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - popcorn/clickbait title

The beasts don't rise, they are stumbled upon
Outside the opening scene, focus is all on Autobots/Prime to the end - Maximals just help out in the last clash
They include racist humor which was really out of place - Its awkwardly brought up and dropped, no one laughs
Don't know how that shit passes a trial watch and isn't cut out

I've made a gif of a scene I laughed at
Cropped out like 60% of it just to feature the action happening
If you were watching this in theaters you've either checked out of the movie, taking in the background nature shot or are looking at this thick chick run with her mouth agape so her face stays in place and doesn't flop about like her chesticles suffering battle damage

 

[Battousai]

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts - popcorn/clickbait title

The beasts don't rise, they are stumbled upon
Outside the opening scene, focus is all on Autobots/Prime to the end - Maximals just help out in the last clash
They include racist humor which was really out of place - Its awkwardly brought up and dropped, no one laughs
Don't know how that shit passes a trial watch and isn't cut out

I've made a gif of a scene I laughed at
Cropped out like 60% of it just to feature the action happening
If you were watching this in theaters you've either checked out of the movie, taking in the background nature shot or are looking at this thick chick run with her mouth agape so her face stays in place and doesn't flop about like her chesticles suffering battle damage

Only reason I refuse to watch this train wreck is that they did not at least include Dinobot among the maximals, I give it 0/10 stars.

 

[Gauche]

Only reason I refuse to watch this train wreck is that they did not at least include Dinobot among the maximals, I give it 0/10 stars.

Spoiler: lore spoiler

Predacons were alluded to being killed by big bad that eats worlds
Big bad's right hand bitch has their emblem as a trophy - I'd include a screenshot but I already deleted it

 

[Gauche]

The Red Turtle/La Tortue Rouge

Spoiler

Isn't the red turtle straight up a Succubus?

If they were to show that she initially brought him to shore then maybe I could justify her actions
She stole his life though
You could argue that he stole her of her form I guess

Ends on to repeat it all again?
The ending makes the whole thing awfully sinister
Off to find another chump

 

[Battousai]

The Red Turtle/La Tortue Rouge

Spoiler

Isn't the red turtle straight up a Succubus?

If they were to show that she initially brought him to shore then maybe I could justify her actions
She stole his life though
You could argue that he stole her of her form I guess

Ends on to repeat it all again?
The ending makes the whole thing awfully sinister
Off to find another chump

Is this kid a side character in the movie at least?

 

[Gauche]

Is this kid a side character in the movie at least?

An unironic, more or less
As well as the opposite

 

[Scrawny The Ghost]

I'm thinking about watching Black Hawk Down before they pull it from Prime... I can't remember if it's good or not, I have only seen it once when I was a kid and I don't remember a lot.

I have been cracking out on history though and it's hard to picture that kind of insane mobs of people street fighting. Also spoiler alert but that's crazy how the locals end up murdering the crew of that one crashed helicopter, they fought until they ran out of ammo. I'm bet that scene is badass. Is Blackhawk Down worth watching in 2023?

I can always download it later but i'm running on 2gb free on my hard drive right now lol

 

[Gauche]

The Flash (2023)

Wasn't even bad. Don't like the star actor though
Commits the crime of opening with a car chase, that is what all those articles throwing it under the bus leave out
Now I know why that expression sucks too, automobiles just weren't meant for good things but steamy hand prints

 

[Battousai]

The Flash (2023)

Wasn't even bad. Don't like the star actor though
Commits the crime of opening with a car chase, that is what all those articles throwing it under the bus leave out
Now I know why that expression sucks too, automobiles just weren't meant for good things but steamy hand prints

I saw this during the week, since it's on HBO Max now, It's not bad just an ok super hero movie. Although the whole artistic choice they say they took for the whole time bubble effects scenes are bullshit imo, everything looks extremely uncanny valley and straight out of a what would pass as a PS2 high production cinematic back in the day.

 

[gaijinkaiju]

Five nights at Freddy's (2023)

Surprisingly good, better than I expected in-fact. Had to double check i was watching the right movie at the start, because the Freddy head with saws inside it reminded me of something you'd see in a saw film. Neat cameo from MatPat from Game Theory, Neat cameo of The Living Tombstones Fnaf song during the end credits. Kinda lacking on jump scares though, which was a little surprising given that that's one of the main gimmicks of the games, that being said, still managed to get jumpscared every time ballon boy showed up, despite being a non-threat. Were also surprisingly few kills, I was expecting more rather than just the four (or so) we got. The animatronic costumes were great, probably the highlight for me.
Would recommend watching, 8/10

 

[gaijinkaiju]

Barbie (2023)

​

Surprisingly good, better than I expected in-fact once you ignore that its whole shtick is female empowerment, and all that that entails. The status quo gets restored in the end by the barbies lecturing the kens which causes them to fight whilst the barbies steal the election. Got a great song out of it though.
Honestly, it was mostly Ryan Gosling and his Kenergy that made the film enjoyable. Also Margot Robbie.
7/10

 

[Gauche]

The Teachers’ Lounge (2023)

Learning how to solve a rubick's cube isn't exactly a redeeming quality for physical assault, theft, destruction of property
Sure, its neat your fictional character didn't know about the pop culture puzzle but 99.9̅% of viewers do
Kid googled the word he didn't know "algorithm" + cube, official ones come with step-by-step instructions
Kid needs broken legs

German video recording laws be strict yo - t33h33
I stole the 1000 pencils

 

[Ogoid]

The Unknown Man of Shandigor (1967)

I will admit, even I was skeptic going into this one. A black-and-white Swiss spy film from the 60's? Could that possibly be good?

Turns out it could, and then some. Imagine (if you can) a bizarre, unholy union between an Austin Powers movie and some boring "serious business" French art film only masochists like me would bother with; yeah, that's more or less what we're dealing with here.

And you know what? It actually works.

Truly a remarkable piece of cinema.

 

[Gauche]

River (2023) - 7/10

Homely timeloop'n, ever so slightly morbid
A welcomed yet insubstantial film

 

[Gauche]

The Lobster (2015) - 9.9/10

I raise my left foot, I bring my elbow to my knee and tap it twice. I bring my foot to my knee and tap it three times. I lie face down, I kneel down. I touch my left cheek and then lie face up.

Short-sighted woman's mouth hangs open and she looks surprised

Needed a scene of the male maid dryly stimulating biscuit woman for 10/10

 

[Arnox]

The Lobster (2015) - 9.9/10

I raise my left foot, I bring my elbow to my knee and tap it twice. I bring my foot to my knee and tap it three times. I lie face down, I kneel down. I touch my left cheek and then lie face up.

Short-sighted woman's mouth hangs open and she looks surprised

Needed a scene of the male maid dryly stimulating biscuit woman for 10/10

wut?

 

[Gauche]

View attachment 277

wut?

Gotta wonder if the blind enjoy text-to-speech internet

 

[Vendor-Lazarus]

Spiderhead and Bullet Train are pretty good. watch'em.

 

[Gauche]

Bullet Train

 

[Gauche]

Aftersun (2022) - 8/10

It was a lovely carpet

 

[Gauche]

Robot Dreams (2023) - 3/10

I didn't like Dog.
I didn't like the robot.

I don't like the society portrayed where buying robot buddies is normalized. The movie setting imitates reality but non-speaking animated animals instead of humans yet, if it were reality, the only way the marketed populace is buying IRL robot escorts is if Google/Facebook/Amazon is involved with all-time remote access to track and sell their data. I found the background action to be the fascinating stuff as the majority of it doesn't involve robots

I feel real contrarian here considering most will enjoy the feel good soundtrack but at no point did I care for the main character. I thought what if I had watched the movie muted if that would improve it any but I just don't care for Dog. Dog is devoid of character worth caring over. Robot it as well but that isn't robot's fault, robot only serves to substitute your smartphone/ipod/Alexa device. Dog is a corporate dream come true which is our reality

The dream segments are fucked while also not progressing the story. You could cut 38 minutes of the movie and not lose any plot

 

[Gauche]

Gladiator 1 > Gladiator 2 - 1/10

One shows every reason I should hate Commodus

Two tells you at the start via text why you should hate the baddies. I couldn't find any other reason to dislike them apart from exaggerated outbursts/acting. Shit just isn't normal and I'd compare it to manga panels where the entire page is dedicated to the characters face to detail several veins and their ugly expression. Too much effort to indicate character bad. Pilfering "Let them eat cake" fell flat for it. Denzel Washington adds nothing to it either. Could of been any other actor and Denzel's absence wouldn't make it worse

Has a neat artful intro paying homage to the first movie by playing scenes from it in like sweeping pastels. Gotta wonder if AI generated or man made. Pretty sweet if it was the latter

Watched it in the theater and before it started playing the directors or something were shown on screen thanking the audience - one said their thanks along the lines of "watching it on the big screen, the way it was meant to be seen". Go fuck yourself - video will display fine on any monitor, the sound system is why folks go to the theater - if it wasn't meant to be seen on any other way then why the fuck will it be streamed/sold for others you lying sack of shit

First fight is against a CGI monkey
Rather insulting disservice honestly

I would give this a higher score for just being a not good movie but the naval scene was just pants on head retarded

 

[Gauche]

The Last Stop in Yuma County - 7/10

11/10 scene

Spoiler: Has some gorgeous shots