Cinema Underworld: Unrated Extended Cut (2003) - Didn't Quite Get My Blood Going

[Arnox]

Rating

3.00 star(s)

I honestly don't know why this movie succeeded as much as it did, because the action's cheesy, the plot is only serviceable, and its world is merely passable. And once again, we have werewolves that are not quite done right! Seriously. This is getting kinda frustrating. Not to say that the werewolves (AKA lycans in this movie) are completely terrible or anything. But they're certainly not great either and they could have been done way better than they were. I could go on another rant about how wolves are some of the most beautiful animals in nature, and it doesn't make any fucking sense to have werewolves in turn look like dogshit, as if only vampires can be the only cool-looking monster, but I'm not gonna.

One thing about this movie I noticed though that I'm not quite sure what to think about is how it's ALWAYS night time and it's probably storming too. While it doesn't quite make practical sense, it DOES fit the tone of the movie quite well. Had this been a better made movie, the constant blue melancholy nighttime gloominess really could have enhanced this movie even more. But alas, we didn't get a great movie, so in turn, the endless unexplained nighttime looks like another error in the filmmaking process. And while we're talking about errors in the filmmaking process, the action in this film is REALLY not good. Both protagonist, antagonist, and mook alike will shoot their weapons with blindingly stupid inaccuracy except when it's convenient for the plot, and most of the time, they all just fucking STAND there, right in front of fire. It's just dumb and it's unsatisfying to boot as well.

I mean... Is this movie the worst thing to spend your time watching? No. Again, the plot is alright. Kate Beckinsale is an absolute cutie in this film, and I do like both the casting for and portrayal of Michael, though we never see Kate in that sexy-looking dress. Boooooooo... In conclusion, probably best to just watch Blade instead.

 

[Battousai]

I was always legit curious how this movie spawned a franchise of movies, I did enjoy it after all, but I didn't really see it getting more than 1 sequel. Maybe it was just an excuse to see Kate Beckinsale on a full body leather suit each time and the producers were betting on that to make some revenue. I took this straight from Wikipedia on that matter of revenue "The series received generally negative reviews from critics, but amassed a strong fan following and grossed a total of $539 million, against a combined budget of $207 million."

Maybe the horny dudes did actually carry this franchise forward .