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Thought this would be a fun list to do.
4. Almost Anything with Steve Ballmer
From the first second Steve steps out onto this stage, he's already shrieking and jumping around like a fucking mad man pumping himself up to stab some peasants while ranting some nonsense about "developers". Thankfully, no peasants were harmed in the making of these press events. I think Steve is probably the OG guy when it comes to making utterly ridiculous, if admittedly very memorable events. Could be wrong there though. Let me know if I am.
3. Intel's Completely Robotic 2021 Keynote
"Oh shit! We only have two new CPUs for this keynote? Fuck! Uhhhh... Uhhhh. Type up 30 minutes of Silicon Valley lunacy about enriching lives and uh... Who are those new autistic interns? Bring them on too. Ok, whew! Saved it! Party at 6 on the yacht then... ? Got it. Thanks, Steve."
2. Jensen Huang Babbles On about AI in Nvidia's Computex 2023 Keynote
And on Episode 2 of Tech Company CEOs High on Cocaine, Jensen comes out on stage and impresses us all with how fucking out of touch and delirious he is. Perhaps the climax of this shitshow is when he starts up a GLaDOS-style sing-a-long about how amazing Nvidia is. Literally. I can confirm I am not able to make this shit up. Jensen made it a reality though for us all.
"The more you buy, the more you save!"
1. Blizzard Goes Out and Makes Press Conference History, Tells Us to Buy Phones
Perhaps in one of the most shocking displays of arrogance and corporate greed, Blizzard corporate thought it was completely okay to step out onto a stage and tell everyone that one of their long-awaited headline normally-PC-only titles would only be for phones. With all the usual mobile bullshit tacked on too. They actually expected this to go over well. Well, uh... This went over SO badly that Blizzard had to wildly backtrack and do damage control. The "out-of-season April Fools joke" question from a fan became a meme. I think to this day, even though Blizzard had definitely fucked up a ton in the past, their image has never been the same again after this horrendous little announcement.
4. Almost Anything with Steve Ballmer
From the first second Steve steps out onto this stage, he's already shrieking and jumping around like a fucking mad man pumping himself up to stab some peasants while ranting some nonsense about "developers". Thankfully, no peasants were harmed in the making of these press events. I think Steve is probably the OG guy when it comes to making utterly ridiculous, if admittedly very memorable events. Could be wrong there though. Let me know if I am.
3. Intel's Completely Robotic 2021 Keynote
"Oh shit! We only have two new CPUs for this keynote? Fuck! Uhhhh... Uhhhh. Type up 30 minutes of Silicon Valley lunacy about enriching lives and uh... Who are those new autistic interns? Bring them on too. Ok, whew! Saved it! Party at 6 on the yacht then... ? Got it. Thanks, Steve."
2. Jensen Huang Babbles On about AI in Nvidia's Computex 2023 Keynote
And on Episode 2 of Tech Company CEOs High on Cocaine, Jensen comes out on stage and impresses us all with how fucking out of touch and delirious he is. Perhaps the climax of this shitshow is when he starts up a GLaDOS-style sing-a-long about how amazing Nvidia is. Literally. I can confirm I am not able to make this shit up. Jensen made it a reality though for us all.
"The more you buy, the more you save!"
1. Blizzard Goes Out and Makes Press Conference History, Tells Us to Buy Phones
Perhaps in one of the most shocking displays of arrogance and corporate greed, Blizzard corporate thought it was completely okay to step out onto a stage and tell everyone that one of their long-awaited headline normally-PC-only titles would only be for phones. With all the usual mobile bullshit tacked on too. They actually expected this to go over well. Well, uh... This went over SO badly that Blizzard had to wildly backtrack and do damage control. The "out-of-season April Fools joke" question from a fan became a meme. I think to this day, even though Blizzard had definitely fucked up a ton in the past, their image has never been the same again after this horrendous little announcement.
