• Welcome to the Sanctuary, Guest.

I really don't know

Messages
4
#1
Hello. I unceremoniously drifted my way in here after yet another night of brainstorming up bad ideas. You guys seem really well-knit, considering what I've read about Zoklet and Totse that's to be expected. So I'm going to skip the lurking and formality, since I'm not expecting much of the latter.

About myself? I sincerely hope I don't come across as yet another edgy angsty 14 year old but I can't think of anything other the things that have left negative influences on me. I've most recently survived an 100,000mg dose of Acetaminophen, an 80mph motorcycle crash, a 5-hour standoff with NYPD ESU, another motorcycle crash, more overdoses and have been admitted to inpatient psychiatric hospitals about 35 times. I have serious identity issues and have lost most of my morales and values.

I mean it seems you guys like to talk about politics and philosophy. I don't know how malicious you guys can get but I'm interested in seeing what happens. I'm 21 and live in NYC. Sorry if this is a wall of text, I have no life and no meaning in my life. If I can find something worth it I'd love to go out with a bang.

On a positive and less pessimistic note I have a pet rabbit named Rabbit, and I live with my 17 yo girlfriend who I met when she was 15. Used to live on 4chan. I'm also a weeaboo.

TL;DR I'm bored and passively suicidal like most of the internet, make use of me.
 
Messages
190
#2
There isn't too much action on here so I don't know how much this site will help against your boredom, but welcome anyway.

A weeaboo eh, what level of weeaboo are we talking about here?
 
Messages
329
#3
Welcome! You seem interesting, in a "how is this person even functioning" sort of way. What are your views on religion?
 
Messages
4
#4
bluegate said:
There isn't too much action on here so I don't know how much this site will help against your boredom, but welcome anyway.
Thank you kindly. I'll be upfront and admit I was primarily attracted by the discussions of fantasizing about an actualizing criminal activity on old Zoklet and Totse. SWIM is very much likely to do something if given the knowledge. Old DIY's, text files, archives, bad ideas, information etc. It could very well be SWIM's own organized crime, experimentation, terrorism, homicide or suicide. Though currently SWIM is primarily stressed by my financial and romantic dsyfunction. At the very least I want to tickle that supposed old bone of malevolent taboo discussion if it still exists.

bluegate said:
A weeaboo eh, what level of weeaboo are we talking about here?
Degenerate level. Anything and everything from being conditioned to unironically physically preferring 2D over 3D (not just for the memes), obviously anime, MMD, /a/, /jp/, /d/, waifu and collecting figures and merch. Don't worry I'm far too gone in my escapism to be a dubbed dragonball z normalfag.
 
Messages
4
#5
Houseman said:
Welcome! You seem interesting, in a "how is this person even functioning" sort of way. What are your views on religion?
That's the thing, I'm not lmao!

Religion huh. I was raised in a Chinese immigrant converted Christian family, my father works in Church and ministry and I've grown to be really sick of his seemingly shallow "you need Jesus" being crammed down my throat whenever I come to him with my issues. So I'm biased.

Is there a heaven or hell? Only in the concept that you're either on one team or the other. I could care less about the afterlife. It's irrelevant to this life and due to my self-destructiveness a large part of me welcomes the idea of eternal suffering.

However that's not to say I'm a fedora-vaping aetheist. At least in the way that I don't go out of my way to align myself with religious/non-religious ideals. Same with politics. No identity, as I've mentioned that's a serious issue for me right now. Anyway I mean I at least acknowledge the power of religion. Faith, optimism, forgiveness, mercy, and prayer have undeniable power, and immense potentially life-changing power at that. If believing in your subjective interpertation of black Jesus gets you through grief than good for you. I just can't quite swallow that pill of what I see as oh too often baseless self-delusions. I do truly acknowledge the wisdom of religion though. What's been getting people through thousands of years of hardship in the Bible has been time-proven by millions and I'd be a jackass not to admit that. Also many valuable life lessons you learn through trial and error, personal growth, and hardship have already been outlined in spiritual texts. All in all, religion is a great way to recover/assign yourself morals and values. It's also stupendous for controlling the masses, making money, delusional self-empowerment, and as a means to understand.

I've seen literally hundreds of unwashed schizophrenic delusional seriously sick people ranting and rambling some religious bullshit all the way from getting on their hands and knees in delerium thinking they were repenting before their final judgement (I did that once!) to the standard self-proclamation of being the Messiah to trying to kill and hospitalizing someone spontaneously "because God told them to." It's hard not to be a cynic or skeptic.
 
Messages
64
#6
May I have your stuff when you die? I have never seen anime figures up close, only on the monitor, so I would be particularly interested in these.
 
Messages
329
#7
SwissedToast said:
Houseman said:
Welcome! You seem interesting, in a "how is this person even functioning" sort of way. What are your views on religion?
That's the thing, I'm not lmao!

Religion huh. I was raised in a Chinese immigrant converted Christian family, my father works in Church and ministry and I've grown to be really sick of his seemingly shallow "you need Jesus" being crammed down my throat whenever I come to him with my issues. So I'm biased.

Is there a heaven or hell? Only in the concept that you're either on one team or the other. I could care less about the afterlife. It's irrelevant to this life and due to my self-destructiveness a large part of me welcomes the idea of eternal suffering.

However that's not to say I'm a fedora-vaping aetheist. At least in the way that I don't go out of my way to align myself with religious/non-religious ideals. Same with politics. No identity, as I've mentioned that's a serious issue for me right now. Anyway I mean I at least acknowledge the power of religion. Faith, optimism, forgiveness, mercy, and prayer have undeniable power, and immense potentially life-changing power at that. If believing in your subjective interpertation of black Jesus gets you through grief than good for you. I just can't quite swallow that pill of what I see as oh too often baseless self-delusions. I do truly acknowledge the wisdom of religion though. What's been getting people through thousands of years of hardship in the Bible has been time-proven by millions and I'd be a jackass not to admit that. Also many valuable life lessons you learn through trial and error, personal growth, and hardship have already been outlined in spiritual texts. All in all, religion is a great way to recover/assign yourself morals and values. It's also stupendous for controlling the masses, making money, delusional self-empowerment, and as a means to understand.

I've seen literally hundreds of unwashed schizophrenic delusional seriously sick people ranting and rambling some religious bullshit all the way from getting on their hands and knees in delerium thinking they were repenting before their final judgement (I did that once!) to the standard self-proclamation of being the Messiah to trying to kill and hospitalizing someone spontaneously "because God told them to." It's hard not to be a cynic or skeptic.
That's such a balanced and well-thought-out view, that it makes you look like a normal member of society! Are you sure you're not just yanking our chain with all that other stuff?
 
Messages
52
#8
SwissedToast said:
bluegate said:
A weeaboo eh, what level of weeaboo are we talking about here?
Degenerate level. Anything and everything from being conditioned to unironically physically preferring 2D over 3D (not just for the memes), obviously anime, MMD, /a/, /jp/, /d/, waifu and collecting figures and merch. Don't worry I'm far too gone in my escapism to be a dubbed dragonball z normalfag.
Considering you have a girlfriend, i'd say you're not quite degenerate level just yet. I think the question should be how many dakis do you have?
 
Messages
91
#9
SwissedToast said:
Houseman said:
Welcome! You seem interesting, in a "how is this person even functioning" sort of way. What are your views on religion?
That's the thing, I'm not lmao!

Religion huh. I was raised in a Chinese immigrant converted Christian family, my father works in Church and ministry and I've grown to be really sick of his seemingly shallow "you need Jesus" being crammed down my throat whenever I come to him with my issues. So I'm biased.

Is there a heaven or hell? Only in the concept that you're either on one team or the other. I could care less about the afterlife. It's irrelevant to this life and due to my self-destructiveness a large part of me welcomes the idea of eternal suffering.

However that's not to say I'm a fedora-vaping aetheist. At least in the way that I don't go out of my way to align myself with religious/non-religious ideals. Same with politics. No identity, as I've mentioned that's a serious issue for me right now. Anyway I mean I at least acknowledge the power of religion. Faith, optimism, forgiveness, mercy, and prayer have undeniable power, and immense potentially life-changing power at that. If believing in your subjective interpertation of black Jesus gets you through grief than good for you. I just can't quite swallow that pill of what I see as oh too often baseless self-delusions. I do truly acknowledge the wisdom of religion though. What's been getting people through thousands of years of hardship in the Bible has been time-proven by millions and I'd be a jackass not to admit that. Also many valuable life lessons you learn through trial and error, personal growth, and hardship have already been outlined in spiritual texts. All in all, religion is a great way to recover/assign yourself morals and values. It's also stupendous for controlling the masses, making money, delusional self-empowerment, and as a means to understand.

I've seen literally hundreds of unwashed schizophrenic delusional seriously sick people ranting and rambling some religious bullshit all the way from getting on their hands and knees in delerium thinking they were repenting before their final judgement (I did that once!) to the standard self-proclamation of being the Messiah to trying to kill and hospitalizing someone spontaneously "because God told them to." It's hard not to be a cynic or skeptic.
This sounds so much like me, other than indifference to the afterlife. If it wasn't for fear of hell, I would've been dead over a decade ago. Like you, I was brainwashed into it from a young age.

Welcome to the Sanctuary.
 
Messages
4
#10
andersonnnunes said:
May I have your stuff when you die? I have never seen anime figures up close, only on the monitor, so I would be particularly interested in these.
You'll have to pay for shipping and write the will for me since I can't be bothered. I haven't hotglued any of the figures though so you're good.

gaijinkaiju said:
Considering you have a girlfriend, i'd say you're not quite degenerate level just yet. I think the question should be how many dakis do you have?
I only date her to abuse myself. It's nice having her trample, choke, gag, and etc bdsm stuff though. And I dress her up as close to possible to muh animu school grills. No dakis sadly, just 3 plain body pillows. My degeneracy got most prominent with what SWIM did when SWIM taught afterschool, SWIM would take pictures of girls on the bus and subway and attention whore on r/a/dio by spamming and ban evading with them. As far as 2D, lolidom and a footfag, need I say more? Also giantess, crush, and vore.

juicebox said:
Like you, I was brainwashed into it from a young age.

Welcome to the Sanctuary.
Thanks broski. Having fun browsing zoklet archives of bad ideas atm.

Houseman said:
That's such a balanced and well-thought-out view, that it makes you look like a normal member of society! Are you sure you're not just yanking our chain with all that other stuff?
I'm intelligent but dsyfunctional and self-destructive. I'm sure it'd fascinate you to examine the thoughts and reactions I have to your reply to demonstrate so. I feel a rush of manic validation, acceptance, and an excited impulse to divulge in edgy detail and post proof and such. My identity and mental state is entirely dependent on external stimuli. I'll twist facts and exagerrate to get more negative attention for my affection and understanding deprived ass, yet I'll confess to anything and everything I've done no matter how henious to placate and manipulate. I'll also let people walk all over me and apologize and kiss ass if I see it can somehow benefit me in the long run. I'll borrow money to loan money to try to get the loanee's brownie points, and I've seriously considered and told my gf if licking my own cum off of her feet will get her to give me oral I'd do it.

Btw I've been with her 2 years and have never put it in solely because she doesn't' want to. Granted I prefer non-penetrative sex though. She's also kicked me out a few times and recently I hit her twice. Things are spiraling.

/blog
 

Arnox

Veteran
Staff member
Administrator
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2,850
#11
Whenever I hear someone's from Totse/Zoklet, I immediately get both excited and annoyed. More the latter than the former though. It seems like most people who came from there are just assholes. I mean, I obviously don't know how you act on a forum these days, but that's basically been my experience. And to be quite honest, your OP isn't actually making me swoon in trust here, but I do like your honesty.

Putting all that aside, I ask one thing from you if you really wish to be here. That you'll follow all the rules. If you can do that, I happily welcome you to the Sanctuary and hope that you stay. If not, then please kindly fuck off.

Oh, and if you'd like to know all our history and how we're related to &T, you can find it here as well.

- Your friendly neighborhood administrator